Politeness ... is a technique. It’s etiquette. ... Civility, by contrast, is a disposition of the heart, a way of seeing others as our moral equals

--- Alexandra Hudson, in CS Monitor interview about her book, “The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles To Heal Society and Ourselves,” Oct 2023

Excerpt

Clarity came when I understood there was a difference between civility and politeness. That politeness, I argue in my book, is a technique. It’s etiquette. Manners is the superficial stuff. Civility, by contrast, is a disposition of the heart, a way of seeing others as our moral equals and worthy of respect because of our shared dignity as human beings. 

The Latin root of politeness is polire, which means to smooth or to polish. And that’s what politeness does. It polishes over differences. ... Whereas civility comes from the Latin word civitas, which means city and citizenship. And that’s what civility is. It’s the habits and duties of citizenship that sometimes requires telling hard truths, sometimes requires protest and civil disobedience.  

not all of it can matter equally to you

 --- Meg Shields, in ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ And How to Survive Being Very Online, July 2022, pointing to (referencing?) a video essay by Thomas Flight

Excerpt

The internet is a place of endless curiosity and community. But it’s also overwhelming to be bombarded with a constant stream of information, political causes, and entertainment. The internet is silly, stupid, anarchic, tragic, and meaningful. And not all of it can matter equally to you. Our little monkey brains weren’t built for that. And part of what Daniels’ film is saying, as the video essay below underlines, is that determining what does and doesn’t matter to you in an attention economy is a life-saving step for surviving in the world post-Internet.